Glimmers of Hope...

Glimmers of hope
“Hope chases us. Always.”
Just when I want to give up on people
Just when I want to give up on God
Something catches my eye
Something catches my heart for a mere moment
I catch a glimpse of hope
I catch a glimpse of goodness
I catch a glimpse of love
Just when I feel as if I’m drowning
in the slosh of evil, selfishness, the darkness within humanity
I get a glimmer of hope
I get a fresh breath of air
Just when I think I’ve lost hope
It finds me.

My friend once gave me the quote “Hope chases us. Always.”

Often just when I am fully convinced it does not
It chases me and catches me.

These two girls had hated each other for months.
They had said nasty things to each other – had threatened to fight repeatedly
All over one girl changing the radio station when the other girl’s song was on.
Both had been kicked out for a while due to their seemingly uncontrollable hatred towards each other

But on this night – there were both here.
One came up to the other out of the blue – prompted by no on but herself
“I don’t want to fight anymore – can we just drop it? I’m sorry”
“ok” she replied sheepishly
A hug sealed the truce and love overcame hatred
A glimmer of hope.

My car had been acting up for a couple of weeks now. I had made an appointment to have my car checked out but knew my car may not make it – knew a breakdown might be inevitable. My friend followed me home from work just as she turned the corner away from my house my car broke down in the middle of the one-way road blocking cars and traffic.

A short stocky old woman who lives on the block came out to find out what was going on. She introduced herself as Penny a harsh deep kindness exuded out of her. She grabbed her two grown sons to help us but ended up just handling the situation herself and getting my car to start and then just as quickly as she got my car to start she disappeared back into her house on my block.
A glimmer of hope.

I had talked in excess to my roommate about my frustrations with work and myself. I was feeling so much self-doubt, so much hopelessness, and so much darkness all around. She handed me a letter out of the blue and told me to read it later. I waited a day and half to read it. But eventually read it alone in the house I was house sitting at for the week – it spoke words of great encouragement and truth.
A glimmer of hope.

There are so many more glimmers - a short email from a friend, a text from a youth who asks me how I’m doing, a youth who wants to buy me taco bell instead of me buying hers all the time, a youth breaking up with her boyfriend because he wanted sex and she didn’t, a youth finally living with someone who cares about her…

All of these are my glimmer of hope.
All of these are hope chasing me and catching me again and again.

My thoughts on Inauguration Day......

Inauguration Day.
I have never cared so much.
I have never seen so many Americans care so much.

2 miles of people packed in front of the white house.
All to be part of the celebration.
All to be a part of this Inauguration day.

The 44th President of the United States of America was inaugurated today
Barack Obama

Barack Obama – the son of a father who was Kenyan immigrant and a single white mother who raised him.

I have never felt so much hope for our nation and our world
I have never felt very patriotic – but today
Sitting in a packed community center – packed with people of all races and ages, gender and economic status – together watching the inauguration
I was surrounded by my fellow Americans
I felt connected to them – by nationality but more than that
I felt connected to them by hope, by shared humanity, by inspiration

Elderly women both black and white around me cried tears of joy, awe, and hope.
I felt the tears well up in my own eyes at the sight of theirs.

Two African American men later shared in bible study at church about how their experiences of segregation growing up in the south many years ago deepened the significance of today, punctuated how far we’ve truly come.
I desire to the know depth of the significance as these two wise men do.

We have overcome so much – I must admit.
We have so much yet to overcome – I must admit.

America’s first black president was sworn into office
Just 60 years after segregation.
An African American man became the highest elected official in America
He and his family took up residence in the White House
A house that was built by African-American slaves in our history.

The slave has overcome, has been set free, and is now leader of the nation.

Today we as a nation watched as the man we peacefully elected
Inspired us to believe that hope still exists for us
We still have a future to believe in

Today, surrounded by all kinds of people – I feel connected to
Today I believe that good can overcome evil.
Today I see how far we’ve come.
Today I see that we have overcome so much.
Today I have hope that we can overcome. We can continue to overcome.

We can overcome. We can continue to overcome.

Just last night at a Martin Luther King Jr. celebration at my church we all joined hands and sang the song “We Shall Overcome”

"We shall overcome, we shall overcome,
We shall overcome someday;
Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe,
We shall overcome someday.

The Lord will see us through, The Lord will see us through,
The Lord will see us through someday;
Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe,
We shall overcome someday.

We're on to victory, We're on to victory,
We're on to victory someday;
Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe,
We're on to victory someday.

We'll walk hand in hand, we'll walk hand in hand,
We'll walk hand in hand someday;
Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe,
We'll walk hand in hand someday.

We are not afraid, we are not afraid,
We are not afraid today;
Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe,
We are not afraid today.

The truth shall set us free , the truth shall set us free,
The truth shall set us free someday;
Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe,
The truth shall set us free someday.

We shall live in peace, we shall live in peace,
We shall live in peace someday;
Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe,
We shall live in peace someday."

Standing there holding the hand of a 14 year old African American girl I work with singing this song – a girl who has been dealt such a rough hand in this life – the overcoming seems so far off, seems like victory will never come.

Today I know it will, day by day, step by step, little victory by little victory. We shall overcome.

"Don't stress"

I’m so glad that God has a sense of humor – I’m so glad that God doesn’t take me too serious even and especially when I take myself too serious.

God’s humor is humbling without embarrassment.
God’s humor teaches without scolding.
God’s humor allows me to laugh at myself.

I was stressing about nothing. I was stressing as I was driving down the road – the stress causing me to curse, become angry, and drive like a maniac.

I had overcommitted myself and I was running late. I needed to a pick a girl up from school and drive her home and pick up another girl from school and take her to her counseling appointment.

I didn’t want to be late for either – my huge pet peeve over not being late spilling forth with no one around – I was frustrated and stressed fearing my being late and letting both girls down.

I ashamedly admit that I was completely overwhelmed with this silly stress – this insignificant unnecessary stress.

Then on my way to get the first girl from school to bring her home she sent me this text from a friends phone:
“don’t stress shanna it’s not a big deal”

All I could do upon reading this text was laugh out loud to myself in my car. This text felt like it was sent to me by God with a smile on his face and his humor all around.

With my laughter my stress left and was gone and I did all I needed to do with time to spare.

It’s so funny how I take myself far too seriously and sometime I need God to remind me to lighten up, to laugh, to let the stress over nothing go.