Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Glimmers of Hope...

Glimmers of hope
“Hope chases us. Always.”
Just when I want to give up on people
Just when I want to give up on God
Something catches my eye
Something catches my heart for a mere moment
I catch a glimpse of hope
I catch a glimpse of goodness
I catch a glimpse of love
Just when I feel as if I’m drowning
in the slosh of evil, selfishness, the darkness within humanity
I get a glimmer of hope
I get a fresh breath of air
Just when I think I’ve lost hope
It finds me.

My friend once gave me the quote “Hope chases us. Always.”

Often just when I am fully convinced it does not
It chases me and catches me.

These two girls had hated each other for months.
They had said nasty things to each other – had threatened to fight repeatedly
All over one girl changing the radio station when the other girl’s song was on.
Both had been kicked out for a while due to their seemingly uncontrollable hatred towards each other

But on this night – there were both here.
One came up to the other out of the blue – prompted by no on but herself
“I don’t want to fight anymore – can we just drop it? I’m sorry”
“ok” she replied sheepishly
A hug sealed the truce and love overcame hatred
A glimmer of hope.

My car had been acting up for a couple of weeks now. I had made an appointment to have my car checked out but knew my car may not make it – knew a breakdown might be inevitable. My friend followed me home from work just as she turned the corner away from my house my car broke down in the middle of the one-way road blocking cars and traffic.

A short stocky old woman who lives on the block came out to find out what was going on. She introduced herself as Penny a harsh deep kindness exuded out of her. She grabbed her two grown sons to help us but ended up just handling the situation herself and getting my car to start and then just as quickly as she got my car to start she disappeared back into her house on my block.
A glimmer of hope.

I had talked in excess to my roommate about my frustrations with work and myself. I was feeling so much self-doubt, so much hopelessness, and so much darkness all around. She handed me a letter out of the blue and told me to read it later. I waited a day and half to read it. But eventually read it alone in the house I was house sitting at for the week – it spoke words of great encouragement and truth.
A glimmer of hope.

There are so many more glimmers - a short email from a friend, a text from a youth who asks me how I’m doing, a youth who wants to buy me taco bell instead of me buying hers all the time, a youth breaking up with her boyfriend because he wanted sex and she didn’t, a youth finally living with someone who cares about her…

All of these are my glimmer of hope.
All of these are hope chasing me and catching me again and again.

1 comment:

Leah Marie said...

Shanna.

Loved this post.. Thanks for sharing. I really like the quote "Hope follows us.. always.' I needed to read that.