The Sea of Need for Love and Affection....

“How little do we really know the power of physical touch. These boys and girls only wanted one thing: to be touched, hugged, stroked, and caressed. Probably most adults have the same needs but no longer have the innocence and unself-consciousness to express them. Sometimes I see humanity as a sea of people starving for affection, tenderness, care, love, acceptence, forgiveness, and gentleness. Everyone seems to cry: ‘Please love me.’ The cry becomes louder and the response so inaudible that people kill each other and themselves in despair. The little orphans tell more than they know. If we don’t love one another, we kill one another. There’s no middle road.” – henri nouwen p. 44

It’s not a new thing to be overwhelmed by the needs of the girls I work with. In facts it’s a normal thing – something I think for the most part I’ve become used to.

But there are moments or days or weeks when the need overwhelms me – causes my head and stomach to ache – causes tears to flow from my eyes…..

This past week was one of those weeks…… those weeks that break my heart, that cause me to cry out to God and ask WHY? To say DO SOMETHING GOD! To wonder if God is using me for anything at all?

This was one of those weeks that causes me to cry out to God WHAT IS THE POINT? WHERE ARE YOU?

It started on Monday – met with 2 girls – one is depressed, failing classes because she’s too depressed to have motivation to do the work, spends large amounts of time alone in her room letting herself sink deeper into her own despair. The other one lives in a house too full of junk to move with her elderly auntie and grandmother and an older cousin who just moved in and only speaks harsh words to her – her only current goal is to be out of the house as much as possible.

Then came Tuesday – met with 2 girls – one who’s dad is choosing to love his girlfriend over his own daughter – the other who’s mom is in rehab and lives in a crack house.

support group night – where one 14 year old girl shared about having sex this past weekend – her second time ever. She shared about feeling like a hoe – shared that she thinks herself a hoe now – she shared that she doesn’t really love the guy and he doesn’t love her either – everyone else joined in about what defines a hoe and who is one and who is not – 2 more girls sharing about sex they’ve had recently and one who going to soon – another girl talked about getting drunk with her friend and her friend’s parents, she’s severely diabetic and too much alcohol could literally kill her – but she doesn’t really care about that too much.

Then came Wednesday – met with 4 girls – one talked about smoking weed every other day – smoking crack once or twice – and wanting to smoke mushrooms soon – one talked about her 16 year old cousin dying the week before and her aunt who is in a coma – one talked about her brother’s gang involvement and one talked about being deeply involved in a gang throwing up signs and what not.

Then came Thursday – met with 4 girls – one got kicked out of her dad’s house and so she’s living with her friend at the time being – one who says all the time that she’s a bad kid, who sees herself as no good – one who plays she’s dumb and innocent but messes with sex and other things to fit in – one who talks incecently constantly calling for my attention like a 2 year old who wants someone to watch her say her abc’s

So much need – so much more than is ever shared with me – so much more than is ever recognized – but there nun-the-less.

But what am I to do in a world of need, in a world of hurts so deep, wounds so fresh, cries so deafening, so many hands outstretched to be grasped,

The sea of need for love and affection is so great – that all I can do with writh with the pain and weight of it all and cry to God on their behalf.